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Doctor Kird Ape
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Where is the Universe?
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 Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject: Yard care advice |
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So I was cleaning out my lawn shed for Spring time fun. I need to treat my yard as it has turned yellow. The green parts are crab grass. Anyway thats not what I need advice about.
After clearing some heavy foliage in my back yard I found a very strange pyramid with Sleestacks in it.
Does anyone know if Loews or Home Depot has a means for me to return these inter dimensional travels home, or some sort of trap to remove them quickly?
Also I think my neighbors, Marshall, Will and Holly have something to do with this and I may be reporting them to the HOA. (I swear I saw a T-rex in their yard).
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 2758
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Too easy.
Bait underneath a box that is in a diagonal postion propped up with a stick that has a long piece of string tied to it. When the black-eyed varmits start nibbling on the ho hos (a sleestack fave) yank the string.
To remove them from underneath the box; slowly lift edge while sliding a potato sack underneath to block the opening. Shepherd into the sack, cinch the top and then throw 'em in the deep part of the Con (apparently also known as the Jig.)
Or call Georgia Martin, I bet she could take them.
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Doctor Kird Ape
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Where is the Universe?
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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They keep making that hissing noise. It is scarring the hell out of me.
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 2758
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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Ear Muffs
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Doctor Kird Ape
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Where is the Universe?
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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Brilliant! Now what about the stop motion T-Rex.
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 2758
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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Giant heat rock?
See, cause, lizards love heat and heat rocks and they don't realize that they are actually cooking themselves (which is why you only give heat rocks to snakes and little teensy ones to big lizards.) --So you have a giant heat rock and pretty soon you'll be scraping charred Rex off of it's molded plastic cover with a shovel. 
Or you could call Mothra.
Ooo! Or sacrifice a large woman and a goat weekly! (This will probably be the least messy solution.)
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Doctor Kird Ape
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Where is the Universe?
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:18 pm Post subject: |
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Mothra...check
Hot Rocks...check
Sacrificial Woman and goat...check
Hmmm are you sure this is not just a list for me to take to Spring Break in Haiti? (which makes me shout out..."Thanks Arthur!")
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The Anti-Life Equation= Loneliness + Alienation + Fear + Despair + Self-worth / Mockery / Condemnation / Misunderstanding x Guiltx Shame x Failure x Judgment; N=Y Where Y=Hope and N=Folly, Love = Lies, Life = Death, Self = Dark Side |
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cookieclaygirl
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 1805
Location: shippensburg
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: |
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| messy indeed, chel. best have a new garden hose for the clean up too. |
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Torgo
Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 466
Location: Manos: The Hands of Fate
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:37 am Post subject: |
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Right now, some utility company is wondering why a crazed man is attacking their infrastructure with a shovel.
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"The Master would not approve..." |
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Doctor Kird Ape
Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Where is the Universe?
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Torgo wrote: | | Right now, some utility company is wondering why a crazed man is attacking their infrastructure with a shovel. |
That was a long time ago, and I paid my debt.
Ok, I guess I should admit this is not the first time I saw Sleestacks. This time they are real.
Last time there was a loss of power and a large bill I had to pay. the time after that I thought my neighbor's pool was a Sleestack stronghold. I am so glad it was an in the ground model. Of course there was the incident with Chuck E. Cheese and the box of rat poison, but I digress.
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The Anti-Life Equation= Loneliness + Alienation + Fear + Despair + Self-worth / Mockery / Condemnation / Misunderstanding x Guiltx Shame x Failure x Judgment; N=Y Where Y=Hope and N=Folly, Love = Lies, Life = Death, Self = Dark Side |
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Mister Me
Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 212
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Laughing Man
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 447
Location: Earth
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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Lawn Gnomes.
place lawn gnomes in the shape of a pentagram around your yard to open a new dimensional portal and suck them back to where they came from... or open the gates of Hell....
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"Nothing is more precious to me than the smile of a child"- Joseph Stalin |
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cookieclaygirl
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 1805
Location: shippensburg
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| well, they are gnomes. and according to my guild pledge they all must die...and of course the gates of hell would open they ARE working for the devil himself. why else would they grin so maliciously??? |
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Laughing Man
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 447
Location: Earth
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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Cookie... some of us are just happy. 
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 2758
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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So lawn gnomes can open a gate directly into DC 'rush' hour traffic?
I suppose that would make a commute easier...
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