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mom4
Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
Location: Chambersburg
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 Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 5:19 am Post subject: Any suggestions? |
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I received an e-mail from my sister this morning. She has two boys. Ben is 11, and was born with cerebral palsy. Joey is 9, and very much normal for a 9 year old. Her e-mail says, "hi all, I just need a little advice. Ben has always asked a lot of questions, but his new one has me stumped. He has been asking why Joey doesn't need medication, braces for his legs, communication devices, wheelchair ect. I have explained that Joey doesn't have cerebral palsy, and that seems to be enough for now. But I know there are more intense questions coming. I know all of you have had different experiences, and may have some insight and recommendations on how I can respond to these questions without ripping my heart out. Or does being a Mom require having your heart ripped out once in a while?"
Any suggestions? |
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 3068
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:22 am Post subject: |
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How heartbreaking!
I'm sure we could all think of clever things to say, but I think this is really one of those times where being a parent requires having your heart ripped out.
I'd suggest explaining to her son, in age appropriate language, his differences, while stressing the abilities he has that his brother does not. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, some of Ben's are just more obvious than others.
My son sees a therapist due to his disabilities, he (the therapist) pointed out me that children think in terms of can and can't. We need to emphasize what they CAN do.
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 3068
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:53 am Post subject: |
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Pa. student with crutches can play on soccer team, officials say
| Quote: | WALLINGFORD, Pa. (AP) -- A student with cerebral palsy can resume playing soccer with crutches for his suburban Philadelphia high school, state athletic officials ruled.
Strath Haven High School junior Bobby Calderoni had been ruled ineligible last fall after a collision with another player. But the Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic Association's board of directors overrode that decision on Friday.
"I love soccer and the team spirit and camaraderie. If they had (ruled against me), I would not be a happy camper," Calderoni said.
For the past two seasons, the PIAA had allowed Calderoni to play using the padded metal supports, which he is not allowed to raise above his waist.
But his eligibility was revoked after a junior varsity game last fall in which the opposing Haverford goalkeeper broke a finger. He said Calderoni tripped him with one of the crutches.
Calderoni, his teammates and coach all claim it was "incidental contact" that led to the goalkeeper's injury. But PIAA Executive Director Brad Cashman decided Calderoni posed a danger to other players.
The PIAA directors reversed Cashman's decision after hearing testimony in Mechanicsburg on Friday.
"I think the decision is going to be a lift for the players on the team and a big lift to the school," said Strath Haven Principal Mary Jo Yannacone, who testified for Calderoni. "A lot of people would have been devastated if Bobby wasn't allowed to play."
A member of the marching band and wrestling team, Calderoni is hoping for a spot on the varsity soccer team next season, an honor typically afforded to Strath Haven seniors.
"Way down the road, I hope to be an activist for cerebral palsy rights," said Calderoni. "Maybe I can put this down as part of my experience." |
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QueenofHearts
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 379
Location: On the Computer
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 9:30 am Post subject: |
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mom4,
I too, am a Mom of 4 and a Reverend. (Please, don't tell anyone, they'd think I'm all Christian and everything, know what I mean?)
Here's my advice which I've given out before and it worked in very similar circumstances.
CP doesn't affect the intelligence of your nehew. Ben is clearly growing up and questioning things around him. I truly believe that he has a special gift that only he can give to others. But, his brother Joey does not have this particular talent. Your sister can focus on this.
Chel is right. Ben CAN teach the younger kids who are afflicted with similar circumstances. He can be a leader now.
All people are born different, for different reasons. What a boring world we would live in if we were all the same.
_________________
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. |
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mom4
Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 33
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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Chel and Queen, Somehow I knew you two would reply and I thank you. I was sort of caught off guard, because Ben is so intelligent I just thought he had already passed this phase of knowing he was different.
One of my other sisters replied, "I don't think of it as getting my heart ripped out, I just consider it being stretched out a whole lot to make it bigger." |
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QueenofHearts
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 379
Location: On the Computer
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| Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| mom4 wrote: | | "I don't think of it as getting my heart ripped out, I just consider it being stretched out a whole lot to make it bigger." |
Something out of my mouth and onto this page! >I love it when other people think me way!<
_________________
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. |
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 3068
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:59 am Post subject: |
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| mom4 wrote: | | Chel and Queen, Somehow I knew you two would reply and I thank you. |
I thank you for sharing the story with us and I thank you for allowing us the opportunity to offer suggestions.
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.45chel
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Posts: 3068
Location: Chambersburg
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| Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 9:29 am Post subject: |
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Mom4
 Have I not welcomed you, yet? I am sooooo sorry!
I think I was distracted when you first posted about New Years.
I really am glad you're here. We all are. Really.
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cookieclaygirl
Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 2194
Location: shippensburg
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| Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:23 am Post subject: |
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| .45chel wrote: | Mom4
Have I not welcomed you, yet? I am sooooo sorry!
I think I was distracted when you first posted about New Years.
I really am glad you're here. We all are. Really. |
welcome as well  |
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